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Taking the time to be affectionate and talk more after sex — a. Skip !
Story from Sex. Sophie Saint Thomas. If you're unfamiliar with the BDSM sceneyou might think it's all whips, handcuffs, and pleasurable pain, but there's one important element that BDSM practitioners have built into their sex lives to make sure that everyone involved feels safe and cared for after play time is over: a practice known as aftercare.
And whether you're into BDSM or have more vanilla tastesaftercare is something everyone should be doing. In the BDSM world, aftercare refers to the time and attention given to partners after an intense sexual experience.
While these encounters or "scenes," as they're called are pre-negotiated and involve consent and safe words in case anyone's uncomfortable in the momentthat doesn't mean that people can forget about being considerate and communicative after it's all over. According to Galen Fousa kink-positive sex therapist and fetish sex educator, aftercare looks different for everyone, since sexual preferences are so vast.
That can include everything from tending to any wounds the submissive partner got during the scene, to taking a moment to be still and relish the experience, Fous says. A "sub-drop" refers to the sadness a submissive partner may feel once endorphins crash and adrenaline floods their body after a powerful scene though dominant partners can also experience drops, Fous says. Of course, you don't have to be hog-tied and whipped to feel sad after sex. Experts have speculated that this may stem from the hormonal changes people particularly those with vaginas experience after orgasm, but many also say that it can come from feeling neglected.
The so-called "orgasm gap" suggests that straight women, in particular, may feel that their needs in bed are ignored. And Luterman says that people in general can also feel lousy post-sex if they're not communicating about what they liked and didn't like about the experience. Clearly, taking the time to be affectionate and talk more after sex — red fetish post.
So what does that mean for you? It depends on the kind of sex you're having, and who you're having it with. Like we said, there are lots of guidelines for BDSM aftercarespecifically. If you're having casual sex, aftercare can mean simply letting your guard down and discussing the experience, something that can be scary to do during a one-night stand.
It's definitely dependent on the situation, but Luterman says that you can just express that you had a good time and see if they're interested in seeing you again if those are thoughts you're actually having. If your experience didn't go well, it's important to voice that, too.
And those in long-term relationships are certainly not exempt from aftercare, Luterman says. It's something couples should continue to do, especially after trying something new such as anal sexshe says.
Did the sex hurt? Do they want to do it again? What did they like and not like about it? You can't know what your partner is thinking unless you ask them. Plus, it can be easy for long-term partners to feel taken for grantedso making sure red fetish post cuddle, stroke each other's hair, and savor the moment after sex can make even the most routine sex feel special. One thing we should all keep in mind? It can also be helpful to continue these conversations when everyone's vertical and clothed and any post-orgasm high has faded.
At the end of the day, aftercare is just a fancy term for making sure everyone's happy once the sex is over. And while communication needs to be happening before and during sex as well, having these discussions afterwards comes with an added bonus: You can learn from the experience so that the sex is even hotter the next time. Once, when we were having sex, I caught my atte.
We were sitting at a terrazzo-to. Shortly after I moved to L. She brought a housewarming gift with her: a ta. Some people stuck to video and. In our new, post-vaccine world which, reminder, is not the same thing as a post-COVID worldmany people have started traveling again, socializing again.Red fetish post
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